Her and Me

I saw her again today.It was evening, I was running to my room.It was then that I suddenly saw her. Or was she there all the time? She was wearing a lovely orange dress, not exactly orange but a beautiful blend of orange and yellow.Her dress color seemed to change with the setting sun, from a lovely blend of orange and yellow to an equally lovely blend of orange and red. She was standing there,as if she was relishing every single moment. She seemed to be celebrating life, in a very lively and yet subtle way that was unique to her. I stopped there awestruck by her beauty.She seemed oblivious of my presence.I moved towards her. I wanted to go to her and be there right beside her. I moved.I was there, standing as close as I could get.There was still a distance between us. I could not get any nearer.The distance between us made her much more beautiful.I stood there getting drunk by her beauty, a beauty that I could die for, a beauty that makes me forget everything, a beauty that gives me an ineffable delight. I gave an unconscious smile, with my heart filled with delight.I loved the moment.I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. It was just her, me and this wonderful feeling that I can't express. I was getting more intoxicated by every second.Then she surprised me.She looked at me and smiled.I am incapable of describing how beautiful and stunning the smile was and what it made me feel. I think any language would fall short of words to describe those. The only way to understand is to experience it.We stood like that for some time. In fact I don't know if it was long or short. I don't have any idea. All that I can remember is the wonderful feeling.Then there was this call. I did not know where was it from and who was calling me.But that call made me realize that I can't be there forever like that.When I realized this the distance between us started growing. I looked at her. Her face was calm but I felt her eyes were trying to tell me something.I could see a trace of melancholy in them.I tried to understand. But I couldn't. Then she was gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can still see her sometimes. Sometimes wearing a pitch black dress and with a single white or a red rose in her dark black hair.Sometimes wearing a lovely blue and with a white silk ribbon tying her hair.Sometimes wearing a turmeric yellow. She comes to me whenever I need her the most.At times when I am in grief and at times when I need to share my joy.And at times when I just feel like having her near me.Every single visit of her makes my worries vanish and fills my heart with delight.But each and every visit ends the same way. The distance between us grows. Her face is always calm as she gets far away from me. But her eyes still struggle to tell me something.If only I could understand what they were trying to tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pondered a lot trying to understand what those eyes tried to tell me.One day I understood."It is you who is moving away from me.I am here all the time waiting for you to look at me, waiting for you to take me with you, waiting to become one with you!!!!!!!!!!!".My heart wrung in pain.I realized my mistake.But it was late. Humans never understand the value of the things they have.Even though I can find myself near to her sometimes the distance between us has been growing for too long and become very large.But I have taken the first step on the path that leads towards her and my eyes now reply her eyes with the words "I am coming to you" when we part.

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! hmmmmm..........didn't have enough courage to put this up not because that this says i am 70% weird but because of the pic.....anyways finally mustered up the courage to do so :D

How Weird Are You?

Me and My Laziness

This second post is an attempt to not let this blog rust away like my last one. I guess it's actually part of a bigger picture.The ultimate idea is to prevent myself from being totally overtaken by my laziness. I used to love the fact that I am lazy and still do. I always felt that its cool to be lazy. But as the saying goes that anything too much is good for nothing, my laziness has grown to such a point that it has become the root cause of most of my problems.I hate to wakeup early and usually get up when its quite late in the morning. But at times when I am up early and get the chance to see those beautiful sunrises I realise what I have been missing. When I see my friends achieve something good I can't help but regret me being lazy. These achievements of friends usually are not big. They might be small things but they are things which they wanted to do. At those instants I feel low and vow to myself that I would try to reduce my laziness so that I would at least be able to try doing things that I want to do.But after sometime the intensity of the feeling lessens and eventually fades away. Only when something happens, something that makes me realise what I am missing coz of my laziness, I remember my vows.Its been this way for way too long. I have become a slave to my laziness.
I, trying to fight against this laziness found a way which I hope will help me out. If I just imagine the things I would be missing or losing coz of my laziness and if I really like those things, it motivates me to try hard. Well, for instance, when I want to get up early and I am pretty sure that I would not, then I remember the best sunrise I have ever seen and then I think of watching the sunrise. I mean the main aim is changed to watching the sunrise than getting up early,its like I am sugar coating a bitter tablet that I have to take.I have my GRE in july and haven't started my preparation on a serious note.But just yesterday I asked myself if I would be okay if I miss the chance of going abroad. The answer was a vehement no. So I am at least a bit more motivated to study for GRE.But being as lazy as I am I haven't started yet but I am pretty sure that the 'sugar coating' would help me. Of course I have to try very hard.I hope that this technique works and I really want it to.
One final say, even if this technique works I would never want to be devoid of laziness. I want to be a little lazy coz I still think that its cool to be lazy. More than that I feel that it's a part of me, one of the characteristics that define me. I wouldn't be the same person without my laziness. ;)

My first post

Even though this is my first posting it's not my first attempt at blogging. Had another blog with just two postings in a period which was more than one year. I rarely blog and so it rusted away. The actual thing is I forgot the login name and password of my previous blog and was too lazy to get it back. I wouldn't have created this one either, had it not been for blogger letting you create a new blog with your good old google account!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coming to the question of what made me feel like writing this is post is a pic of a friend of mine on orkut. This person belongs to the special class of friends,friends whom I rarely talk to. May be I could say that they are just acquaintances. I study in a college in which there are 240 students per engineering batch.Owing to the big size of our batch I have many friends who belong to this special class. In the start, when I first came to the college I used to talk with almost every batch mate I came across, trying to make friends. Eventually I made friends here and have a circle that I feel I belong to. But there are some persons with whom I have some friendship and the friendship didn't grow coz of various reasons.These are my special friends. When I bump into these friends I just dont know what to do. Sometimes we exchange pleasantries, sometimes we just do an acknowledgment nod. Sometimes I say a 'hi' or 'hello' with no reciprocation. Sometimes we just pass by as if we are strangers looking at all other directions but at each other. Sometimes I just pretend to not notice them wondering if the other person would acknowledge my 'hi' or 'hello'. Sometimes I do this coz of my ego which tells me 'let him/her greet you first, why is it always have to be who says a hi first'. Sometimes I receive a pleasantry that I don't expect. The bad thing is that i have quite a number of these special friends. Most of them are people whom I would love to be friends with. I hate the fact that I don't have the boldness to talk to them and revive our friendship.I used to be reserved before coming to this college. I have never been in a hostel before. In the three years of my college life I have learnt a lot about dealing with people but still there are things like these which I don't know how to deal with.I just don't know what to do and I have to keep facing these awkward situations. I just wish that I no longer have to face these awkward situations. May be I am worrying too much, as most of my friends say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chalo, bored you enough and anywayz have to sleep!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: So my special friends, when I bump into you and don't say anything thing or pretend to not notice you please understand that either its my shyness or me waiting for you to greet me first!!!!!!!!!!!! :)